If idle hands are the devil's workshop, then over-busy hands may well be his masterpiece!

Life in 21st century America has gotten so busy that many parents no longer know how to have influential relationships with their children. Social scientists are saying that our greatest health crisis is that of relational "disconnectedness." We hear evidence of this often. Parents we see privately and in our classes frequently say things like this:

"It would be great to have meals together once in a while. But we just don't have time."

"Even if we could sit down and talk, it would just turn into a fight!"

"I want to talk to my daughter about 'the facts of life' but I just don't know how. I'm afraid she'll brush me off."

"The only time my teen talks to me is when he wants something. If he doesn't get it he just gets sour and punishes me with a bad attitude."

"I know that if I get my children involved in enough things, they'll find something that will help them feel significant!"

"My kid's friends have far more influence on them than I do."

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? Many reasons - here are a few:

• The average school aged child spends less than three hours a week in meaningful interaction with one parent (2.5 hours with mom, less than a half hour with dad).
• Over eighty percent of youth in churches have "little to no" conversation with their parents about faith.
• In the general population, youth report 0% of time spent with parents where meaningful conversation is the primary activity.
• On average, we work nearly nine full weeks LONGER (350 hours!) per year than our peers in Western Europe.

The evidence suggests that parents are simply NOT THERE for their kids! They may go to their games or lessons, or shuttle them to the mall, but they simply have lost the ability and even the value of relational connection.

Staying connected is complicated by the fact that those vying for our children's attention are better at getting it than they have ever been. Consider that Nintendo spends more than twice as much per year on R&D to sell their products to our kids than is spent by the U.S. government on education research. Nintendo's products typically reinforce disconnection. And how much less is spent teaching parents how to influence their children?!

What better plan could there be to keep us from passing our faith and values to the next generation?

It's Time to STOP THE MADNESS!

"But how? Everybody is living this way!"

We are encouraged to report that in many communities across the nation, families are turning the tide. We are grateful for the numerous citizens and organizations working to create subcultures where it is acceptable to just say "No!" to the madness, and who are helping parents learn to stay connected with their children.

But it starts with us - the parents. If we don't make and live by committments to spend quality AND quantity time with our children, they simply will not be connected with us. When children don't feel connected to their parents, they WILL find something to connect to. Most often, perhaps because of hard feelings toward their parents due to the disconnection, they will connect to the very opposite of what they know we desire for them.

So literally, for heaven's sake, let's learn to STAY CONNECTED to our children! Join others committed to the same cause. Learn to be together with other families - because we really do need each other. This is by far the most effective way to pass faith and values to our children. Then, as we learn little by little to connect better, we can invite others to slow down and join us.